IT'S A CRIME! (OR A MYSTERY...)

It's hard to contain my excitement...

... but I am back online with a new PC and loving it.  I wish I had set this up a long time ago.  All the inconvenience I have suffered for months could have been avoided.  It was only when it became critical that I finally did the deed.  Therefore my apologies to John Baker who was originally due to guest blog here last Thursday.  We have now rescheduled this for April 29 when I will also share my thoughts on his current novel, Winged with Death.  The next post will be on Mari Strachan's The Earth Hums in B Flat - a truly Welsh novel and one that I will certainly treasure for reasons to be divulged soon...

Andrew Keen at The Independent on the Dutch foresight into the future of libraries...

An interesting article which you can read here.

"Queryfail": I haven't laughed so much in ages...

Neither has my chest had so much exercise, shuddering up and down as it has, across a span of six inches.  Just spotted last week's phenomenon of "Queryfail" on Twitter, at the Guardian Book Blog.  Apparently some agents and publishers' editors were telling prospective authors why they fail to get noticed.  It went on for more than one day and the Guardian directs you here for a summary after the first day.  Beauties on the fail-side include:

• I know that I have attached a file, but please have a read even though it’s against your policy.
• Before you respond to my query, please send a test email for my spam filter.
• I’M TYPING MY QUERY IN ALL CAPS SO YOU WILL BE SURE TO NOTICE IT.
• Please Google my name for more information.
• This is not representative of my best work.
• This is my first attempt at writing a fictional novel.
• Like my protagonist, I definitely could be described as overachiever, and I naturally have hair like Lady Godiva.
• Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be pulled up a waterfall or to be flushed down a toilet?
• Hi. Are you a visionary agent who wants to take the stagnant fiction literary marketplace to new heights?
• Three paragraphs, no plot, no hook, and lots of “me, me, me, look how wonderful I am!”

The words "megalomaniac" and "thick" come to mind.  But if you do want to get published the recommendations are:

• First sentence hook.
• Wordcount/genre.
• One- or two-paragraph blurb.
• Relevant writing credits/background.
• Polite closing.
• Solid writing sample.

Sorry for any typos in this post, but I am still laughing...

Flying the flag of fear

There are some things that our Prime Minister says which I do believe.  One of them is that this is a global recession.  We live in times of a global economy, so that's going to be the case and sadly, we can see the deck of cards falling down across the globe.  Thus it is good to read the news from other countries' sources and achieve a broader view.  Researching a topic, I came across a Croatian news website.  Guess who said the following?  (Answers below in the extension of the post.)

1. "We should not only think of ways to stimulate the economy but also how to pay the bill, and how to make sure we all move back to sustainable paths for our finances."

2. "This biggest worldwide economic crisis arose by getting into debt.  You can't fight a debt crisis by getting into more debt.  That's why we need to proceed very carefully."

Emirates Airline International Festival of Literature - links to the actuality

The inaugural Emirates Airline International Festival of Literature, (EAIFL), got off to a rocky freedom-of-speech-debate-start involving bans, departures and slightly-humbled returns for authors, as we well know.  It concerned Geraldine Bedell's book, but I am not going there as this is not the purpose of this post.

The Bookseller promised some live blogging from the event, but the delivery from Mr and Mrs Mosse (Greg and Kate) was not quite so in the end.  Three/four posts at most, between them?  But the readers and commentators were not happy at the freedom of expression issue, thus we could see few, but very damning comments added to their posts: those at Dubai were into self-justification to support and ratify their "jolly".  Linking to the thrust of that debate is as weak as the debate itself (given the curious nature of its roots, latterly revealed), thus I shall not expend the energy.

If you feel like a bit of insight into the festival proper, try out these links:

It's Thursday 5th March and it's...

... oh come on those of you old enough to remember, Crackerjack and its pencils came on a Friday.  And if the 5th rings any alarm bells, the start of the next tax year falls in April.

No, today is World Book Day.  So get your index fingers on that link to find book tokens and £1 books for children.

And don't forget the associated ten Quick Reads - homepage here.  For the crimefic aficionados we have Ian Rankin providing the A Cool Head story, as reliable to this type of cause as chicken stock is to your larder, and do you remember last year's reality TV on writing crime fiction, Murder Most Famous?  It was won by former Coronation Street actress Sherrie Hewson and The Tannery is now delivered.  I recall thinking it was very dark and atmospheric at the time of the programme, so I will be taking a peek at this one.

There's also Spread the Word which seeks "books to talk about".  Here's the shortlist.  On there you will find, very deservedly, a certain Mr Simon Lewis for his novel Bad Traffic, something this reader considered pretty damn good when she read it.  I normally don't like to see the supernatural and related stuff invade my crime novel, but in good hands it works.  Thus I am not surprised to see Natasha Mostert's Season of the Witch on the shortlist.  It's gothic madness combined with contemporary IT; what can be more original than that?

Let's all celebrate something wonderful in this time of recession and depression; it's called finding and reading a bloody good story, and the day allows us to focus on newbies which is excellent.  So get out your magnifying glasses and other tools for the search and find a good read.  And report back, wherever you cboose. 

Breaking news for Scandinavian crime fiction fans...

Henning Mankell will be at this year's Hay Festival.  It runs during the period 21-31 May.  Tickets go on sale to Friends of the Festival on March 10.  Homepage is here.

The BBC asks...

... is this the world's ugliest cat?  But he sure looks happy and well-loved.

Connection issues...

I had them today.  At 3am approx, I had lost all connectivity.  Renewed at 6am plus.   Lost again later, which led to the call to the helpline, about after 9am.  We were sorted and renewed later, but it was scarey.  Book talk is secondary to job-hunting and I make no apologies for seeking the ultimate goal - a job in my life.  A job takes precedence and anything else is seasoning.  But God, the fright of no connection.  It could do me in with one foul swoop.

There I was about to read the page headlined...

... "Banks to defy PM with £2bn bonus" when the "Most Read" section in The Times caught my eye.  The most read page tonight is "A guide to the new luxury sex toys".  Apparently, the businesses selling them experienced increased sales last year.  Luxury items.   Good to see something bucking the market trends, though.