On MPs' expenses...

With more disclosures in this morning’s Daily Telegraph, it is no surprise that I have spent a good bit of today reading about MPs’ expenses.  I recently commented on Welsh monikers when I wrote about Mari Strachan’s The Earth Hums in B Flat, so I thought I’d lighten the mood a bit and apply Welsh monikers to some of the MPs.  (Quotes in italics are directly from the DT.)  Please feel free to add your own in the comments.

Gordon Brown, the PM: Brown the Broom (shared a cleaner with his brother, all above board we are told))
Margaret Beckett: Beckett the Basket (claim for £600 on hanging baskets turned down)
Andy Burnham: Burnham the Bathrobe (tried to claim £19.95 for an IKEA bathrobe)
Hazel Blears: Blears the Beamer (luxury London hotel stays and flipping on properties, three in one year.  When a media assault sought her response, she had few words concentrating on “within the rules” but kept a beaming smile frozen on her face until the car was able to pull away.)
Phil Woolas (Immigration Minister): Woolas the Womenswear (apparently his claims included a ladies’ jumper @ £5 and a ladies’ blouse @ £15; and the man is very unhappy with the DT’s details on the basis of accuracy and considering legal action)
Paul Murphy (Secretary of State for Wales): Murphy the Melting Point (£3,500 for a new boiler as his hot water was too hot)
John Prescott: Prescott the Pretentious (mock Tudor beams added to the front of his house, on expenses)
Peter Mandelson: Mandelson the Makeover (claimed £3,000 for work on his constituency home days after announcing he was to stand down as MP)
Vera Baird (Solicitor General): Baird the Baubles (tried to claim £286 for “miscellaneous items” which included a Christmas tree and baubles.  She later said, “I used my allowances claim to furnish and maintain my house. I did not take issue with the fees office for rejecting claims, I was grateful for their guidance on how the rules should be interpreted.  I still have these decorations which of course I had paid for myself and I used them last Christmas as well."  As if that detracts from the intention or “oversight”…)
Michael Martin (Speaker): Martin the Mobile (claimed £1,400 on a chauffeur hire company to take him on visits to the local job centre and the Celtic Football Club)
Keith Vaz (Chairman of the Home Affairs Select Committee): Vaz the Vulgarian  (£75k on a second home flat 12 miles away from his main home in Stanmore, plus: ‘claims of about £16,000 relating to the house, including more than £480 on 22 cushions, most of them silk, from John Lewis; £2,614 for a pair of John Lewis leather armchairs and an accompanying foot stool; £1,000 on a dining table and leather chairs; £750 on carpets; and £150 on a lamp and lampshade. Commons guidelines said MPs should "avoid purchases which could be seen as extravagant or luxurious".’)
Geoff Hoon (Europe Minister): Hoon the Housing (accused of creating a £1.7m property empire based on utilising expenses)

Comments

[Bored with British Politicians]

Jobs for the boys career MPs one company a few different coloured flags blue or red choose your colour but by and large all really on the same team of self interest

[Norm]

Prescott's two loo seats were the only acceptable expenses in my opinion. No loo seat should be expected to stand up to Prezza for more than 12 months.