As I have stated before, several times, I don’t watch much TV. But something occasionally does draw me into sitting down in front of one of those screens. Recently, I have been enjoying Law & Order: UK and it seems to be getting better with every episode. Now this week, we see the return of The Apprentice for series 5. I missed series 1, but got hooked somewhere into series 2.
I normally find the first episode slightly confusing with all the candidates present for the first time. But for this series we started with one having jumped ship 4 hours before the boardroom kick-off because he suddenly realised he was missing his family. Or did we actually lose the biggest ego of them all? I ask because in the “You’re Fired” show later on BBC2 we heard this candidate’s comments and he compared himself and his achievements to date to those of Alan Sugar. But I bet he didn’t pay himself for the car that was apparently transporting him home (or to the nearest railway station).
So, one down allowing an element of advantage to the memory, it helps if (1) the candidates look different and (2) they have some striking features, physically or in personality. Luckily this crop come with many distinguishing features to differentiate them and perhaps before the end of the series they will earn some distinguished features.
Let’s start with the girls. A recent repeat of the Sport Relief Celebrity version had a fine lead-in to this series. When the ladies picked their team leader, no time was wasted and immediately most plumped for Jacqueline Gold (of the Ann Summers empire) – well, she’s a successful business woman isn’t she? Kirstie Allsopp remained silent and her face said it all. Before she became famous on TV, she had built a successful business, but no one seemed to realise that. Cue later show down between Kirstie and the golden queen of lingerie.
In series 5, history repeated itself. No one wants the risk of being out at the first hurdle, so everyone is slow to volunteer for the team leadership. As time goes on, someone with a gene or two of “brave” comes forward and this week it was Mona Lewis. Then Debra Barr muttered a few things to suggest it was the wrong decision and that she might be a better candidate. But this was all overlooked and hands were shaken on Mona. No surprises then that when the girls lost, team leader Mona took Debra and Anita (Shah) into the boardroom with her. Anita proved to be the one to get the chop. (Lack of initiative and not challenging enough.)
The teams were set the task of setting up a cleaning business. They had up to £200 to spend on cleaning materials for their venture, the cost of which was to be set against their income.
Debra proved a creature of spin, or should that be lying? The viewers had seen the footage. At one point Debra had a rant down the phone to Mona complaining about her lazy colleagues, whom she called puppets, declaring she would not be held responsible for them. In the boardroom later she denied this. She has now been marked by the viewers. But it didn’t matter to the result anyway. Mona was on the block for no business strategy or business plan before they all shot off like headless chickens to clean cars with equipment they didn’t know how to use. Their lack of research was also evident. Initially, they offered to clean three Hummers for £300. The owners said they normally had it done for £60.
When commenting on features above, they are proving memorable already: Debra for her cut-throat boardroom appearance and facial likeness to Lisa Snowdon (most recently on Strictly Come Dancing); Yasmina Siadatan for her facial likeness to actress Sarah Parish; Paula Jones for her red Raphaelite curls; Kimberley Davis for her American accent; Lorraine Tighe for being quiet and looking in despair; Mona for being the first Team Leader to almost crumble as soon as she knew the game was up in the boardroom, with a nose appearing to leak more than her eyes; and finally Kate Walsh for being mouthy and the only blonde on the alpha-girl side.
Did the boys fare any better? Well they did win; more from thrift when purchasing equipment than anything else. Who stood out? Howard Ebison for being that lone voice that eventually volunteered to be the first team leader, knowing that someone else in the team would be gunning for him at every opportunity. Philip Taylor an estate agent, for doing the gunning at every opportunity. Rocky Andrews for making a decent gunman’s side-kick, even kicking off the gunning in the boardroom. Ben Clarke the trainee stockbroker, for his braces and arm movements on walking and running. Business development manager Majid Nagra for his beard and use of megaphone; the megaphone was first used to elicit business for a shoe shine stand at St Pancras, but he later used it to issue instructions at the car wash. Did he get his hands dirty at all? Nourul Choudhury for his voice. It’s memorable. I won’t try to decribe it; suffice to say, it’s hard to forget it.
We are promised a more recession-focused Apprentice this time; less glamour, glitz and foreign travel, with a consideration to helping out local communities and being entrepreneurial in the current economic climate.
The stars of the show remain the incomparable Margaret Mountford and Nick Hewer, Sir Alan Sugar’s advisers who monitor the actions of the teams. Margaret has a column at the Daily Telegraph for this series.
Next week we see the teams take steps into the world of mass-catering. So keep your eyes peeled on Rocky Andrews (a sandwich chain owner, so he should know something about the area); Yasmina Siadatan, restaurateur (ditto) and Howard Ebison (area manager for 10 pubs, so he might know something).
I appreciate that the series is contrived to a degree; that the footage is edited to bring us the relevant bits; that the footage is further edited to higlight the bitchy bits and that some who appear quiet and/or inactive may not have been so, but I do enjoy this series, nominated earlier this week for a TV BAFTA. I have 11 further weeks to remain glued. More on the series and its progress here.
I love this series too! Great round up. It looks as though Debra might be this year's Katy Hopkins. Meow!
Posted by: Donna | 29 March 2009 at 02:38