The funniest moment of my foray to into England for the Henley Literary Festival was taking a seat next to Martin Bell at the Jeremy Paxman event. I had crossed the borders (not much left of a United Kingdom is there now?) and the weather did the same. I arrived in knee length boots, polo neck sweater, suede jacket and tweed skirt, and very hot. Good coverage for south Wales on a quite chilly Saturday morning, but summer skimpies would have done for Henley that afternoon. Bell took only one look at me and said "You look hot." I stripped off as much as I could, then asked, "I'm not red in the face am I?" "Depends on what you look like normally" said the down to earth über journalist and former MP who knows the value of his convictions.
Paxman arrived and bumped into Bell with a boisterously enthusiastic and surprised "Hello Martin" at more decibels than an unwelcome iPod on public transport, then he took to the stage.
But, back to the chronology of the day, I arrived in Henley towards the end of the Clarissa Dickson Wright event for which I had failed to get a ticket, sat in the square and eventually watched her march to the square's festival tent where she did a book signing for her autobiography Spilling the Beans. Anyone I spoke to on the weekend said she was brilliant and all wished she'd had more time to speak. She was inspiring, apparently.
Paxo too was sold out by the time I booked, but I was lucky to get a return... It appeared that he was to be interviewed but his interviewer had not turned up. He didn't need him, whoever he was. Jeremy Paxman held his own and the audience, for the full hour, in a very entertaining and educational fashion on his view of royalty and very humerous at that - he also does a great Tony Blair impersonation and you'd have to see it as well as hear it. It's lip curling. More detail later in the week on that one.
Suffice to say, all in the audience were glued to his words, apart from perhaps one old man in the back most row, who took about 40 minutes to express his concerns that he could not hear Paxo. After a bit of incoherent to and fro, Paxo invited him into a spare front seat and he moved, only to remain silent for the last minutes. During his speech Paxo said he was "Mr Rude and will always be Mr Rude", but on that occasion he was far more welcoming than he had been to Michael Howard; indeed he was Mr Charm and Mr Enthralling to his audience. In person those journalistic sharp corners are more than pared down. Caught short by his reaction to the death of the Queen Mother, which prompted Paxman to revisit his thoughts on royalty, he's no longer a republican but a reluctant monarchist with the view "Why change"? On Royalty is well worth a read after what I heard.
A colleague had told me that an interview with Sir John Mortimer had been a great event at the Hay Festival earlier this year. At Henley, Mortimer was interviewed by the Daily Telegraph's theatre critic Charles Spencer. I think of Mortimer as I do P. D. James - both are national treasures in their own right and for various reasons. Both have brought us wonderful fictional characters and much fictional work; but behind the authors in both cases lie characters of steely determination and convictions. Life long Labour supporter Mortimer had only one word when asked about the "now" in the world of politics. The word did not matter; the manner of delivery did. Disappointment and disillusionment were foremost in his voice. Later he added that in respect of the knighthood he'd been given by Blair, "It's the best thing he's ever done". The audience laughed.
Aside from politics and Rumpole his fictional character for whom there is a new novel due out soon, Mortimer had many sexual tales to impart. These were mainly factual, revolving around divorce cases of old and the delicacies of life experienced within the legal profession. The audience was captivated (apart from the family where the mother quickly departed from the theatre with her young daughter after the mention of Linda Lovelace, returning alone some time later to rejoin her hubbie). Those unfamiliar with Mortimer should be aware that octogenarian or not, sex will feature.
Having lost my eighty year old father earlier this year, it was good to see Mortimer on stage. He looked a tad frail in his wheelchair, but his mind remains as sharp as a needle point with his vocal chords only a tick behind when it comes to expressing his thoughts. This man is a keen observer of life today, just as he has been since childhood.
The biggest shock of the hour? Rumpole and an ASBO were mentioned in the same sentence. You see, I told you, octogenarians don't miss much; underrate them at your freedom of peril. (My own father had never gone near a PC but he knew how to direct me to a certain website he'd seen advertised, if he wanted to find or purchase something.)
Finally in my Henley weekend experience, India Knight took to the same stage on Sunday morning to talk about "Food and Sex". It turned out to be mainly about food and a woman's relationship to it as it happens, along with other more serious stuff such as children's and adults' disabilities. To suggest this was a serious hour is wrong however; it was full of humour and Knight herself has such a welcoming smile and Girl Friday, Leader of the Pack mentality, she could be a leading politician! But at the moment she's a very well respected journalist with a column in the Sunday Times, a blog at The Times and a string of books to her name, along with much else, including a growing family of which she is obviously very proud. One of those books is The Idiot Proof Diet which she wrote with her friend Neris Thomas. Both followed the diet and both lost stacks of weight. On stage, Knight recapped a story about a fat woman at a dinner party, she'd hosted or attended. Knight said there that she intended to lose five stones and the woman guffawed as if this was impossible. Knight is now that five stones lighter and that woman remains as fat today as she was when she heard Knight express her goal all that time ago. If Aesop was still around today, I think he'd capture that one in another fable and say "Guffaw and doubt all you like; it always leads to a dead end".
When mentioning this diet book back in January I said "I like the book. It's honest and inspiring. And next week I'm even going to start on the diet." Originally, I had no intention of mentioning my own progress before the end of a 12 month period, but I'm currently feeling so pleased I've decided to break that silence. Yes, this diet does work. I am now 43.5 lbs lighter than in mid-Jan with no intention of sliding back into previous comfort zones (which are no longer my comfort zones anyway).
The paperback of this book is out in January 2008 along with a cook book based on the diet, which Knight informed us at Henley is all about fitting in this type of eating with family life. (It's a low-carb regime, by the way, with a broader scope than Atkins, in case you're wondering. And, delightfully, dining out is not an issue; so, fun with eating can remain...)
In conclusion, what did I think of the inaugural year for the Henley Literary Festival? A pretty good job as it happens. Teething problems for a start-up will be par for the course, but they were very few. For this year, congratulations to Henley and its team of workers on the Festival. You delivered well.
Thank you, Clare. It was good to get away for a day and a half, even if my wardrobe was crap! I enjoyed myself. I did speak to India Knight after the event and she knows of my success to date. I keep finding clothes that I've not worn for a few weeks which are too big now. Today's trousers (it's casual at work on a Friday) had to be held up with a belt, for example. During the week, some things from my "vintage" wardrobe emerged at long last, not worn since I last worked in the City, I think! I'm looking forward to buying some new chic and colourful stuff in the future too...
The saddest thing for me about the deaths of women in their 30s from breast cancer is that so many of them were failed by the health service a few years ago, due to lack of awarenesss, where treatment should have been prompt and aggressive. In my friend's case, the follow up in remission was pretty much totally inadequate. We know more today as the medical profession has learnt more; I just hope that younger women with "scares" are seen with the urgency applied to the biggest risk group (the over 50s) now. The second saddest thing is that women of that young age are often leaving behind young children, as happened with Ruth Picardie and my friend.
And, Clare, thank you again for your comment "Writing is a good way of remembering people - as you have here." Those we lose can live on through writing, where the life we treasured for so long, or for far too short a time and had an impact on our lives that will never die. To say it's a memory or series of memories to hold dear is not meeting the full impact. Those we encounter in life, whom we lose, also contributed to who we are today. That aspect of their lives also lives on in us. There's always a human footprint to value and treasure...
Posted by: crimeficreader | 28 September 2007 at 20:13
Excellent review, CFR...you took me with you. I expect India Knight and Neris would be delighted to hear of your success. That exchange with Martin Bell sounds hilarious. Yes, that Ruth Picardie story was unbelievably sad. I read her sister's column in the Sunday Telegraph magazine Stella sometimes and she often mentions her there. Writing is a good way of remembering people - as you have here.
Posted by: Clare | 27 September 2007 at 21:45
Thanks, Norm.
I'm with Mortimer on this front, like you. Let's enjoy life, the life we have, and let's hate and denigrate our "coming of age" even if it means we become hidden silents. Until then, mouth (very verbal) to the rescue!
You can never shut down a mouth of opinion. Never shut a mouth of age. Never shut a mouth and brain of wisdom because of age... Never dispense with logic; which is a fundamental of life in the past and life today. All deserve to be heard and taken into account. That's life!
All are worthy, as is the theme of this blog. All and anyone reading here has a right of input to the future.
Above all, we need to control the responses to ensure they are "fit for purpose".
Posted by: cfr | 27 September 2007 at 21:31
I admire your fortitude to lose weight at a time of stress. Well done.
I still remember John Mortimer's saying to Edwina Currie that if going on a strict diet meant an extra 10 years in a nursing home in Weston super Mare he would not bother. And having visited many nursing homes in my working life I can understand what he meant.
The Idiot Proof Diet sounds tailor-made for me.
Posted by: Norm | 26 September 2007 at 15:27
Thanks for the laugh Maxine! You really had me chuckling. But when overheated, all you want to do is strip off surely? Sandals and not boots would have been good. A cotton poplin skirt and not a tweed one... A T-shirt and not a polo neck sweater...
I, too, read "Before I Say Goodbye" and remember lots of conversations about make-up. Knight certainly believes that women can still have fun while in serious mode. She advocates that you can do anything in your favourite lippy, if it makes you feel better.
"Before I Say Goodbye" remains a poignant reading memory for me, as years later I lost a friend to breast cancer. She was also in her thirties. I think that the medical profession is now far more aware that breast cancer can hit those of a younger age, but our performance in the UK on cancer survival rates remains pretty crap, sadly.
Posted by: CFR | 25 September 2007 at 21:11
What a delightful and enjoyable post! I loved reading about John Mortimer and India Knight-- I first encountered her (on the page only) as the friend of the tragic Ruth Picardie. India features in Ruth's book "Before I say Goodbye". Glad also to hear about the weight, I am wavering a bit at the moment, probably related to the fact that I am finding it hard to keep interested in blogging (reading and writing) which was always good for keeping me away from temptation for hours.
I was surprised to read your inital words about your "skimpies" (does not seem quite "you"!) but on reading later on about the weight, well, I am not surprised and good on you, Crime fic. (I, however, will stick to not owning any "skimpies" however thin I may be ;-) )
Posted by: Maxine | 25 September 2007 at 20:51